You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
At my age flowers scare me.
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.